彩虹的尽头-是快乐

昨天读过报纸，哭了。
第一次，看着报纸会默默拭泪。

在此，希望在天国的各位钟灵的同学们，要快乐。

之前看着报纸登上一张张破烂废墟的照片，地震的新闻已经让报纸看起来悲哀了。
那天却看见一片蓝海，一个码头，一个难过的妈妈在哭着。

隔着那么远，我却为他们感到难过。
看着报纸的新闻，鼻子酸酸的。

我不喜欢跟溺水有关的新闻。看过，无法忘记那天晚上。眼泪和雨水。那种复杂心情的交接点，跟那以前很像。

以前，他发生事情时我也忍耐着眼泪，就算快模糊了视线，我也不要让它掉下来。
因为那时候，她最需要的不是我的眼泪。第一次，我妈迫切地需要我长大。

我却慌了而忘了拍一拍她肩膀。我不敢，不喜欢。不像道德课本教的，要给予安慰和拥抱。
安慰从来不是我的范围，因为我总会被拖着一起哭。我选择站在远远的，看不见，听不到。不是残忍，不是无情，是害怕自己接受不了。到头来，懦弱控制了我。

每次会突然惊醒，害怕他就这样走了，总要看见他胖胖的肚腩起伏着，才安心。
害怕他嚷痛，因为我也会痛。

很多时候，在朋友面前装着很坚强很屹立不倒。
其实很多时候，背后的我其实根本是株含羞草。
害怕，就把叶子合上，保护自己。

我当不了遇风不倒的小草，要坚强，我还得问自己，那二字怎么写。

Battlefield Diary 2

They don't respect me. and they don't respect themselves either.
I spent times on yelling than teaching. u can imagine how worst could it be.
i yelled every half minutes. and somehow i decided not to yell anymore.
cz i can't. i definately losing my voice gradually and this only 2nd week of term.
hope my throat will be okay when i go out for karaoke singing.

besides of these, i was bored.
i reached school early. means early like 6.00am.
and i reached home 4.00pm.
i cant even remember last night dream.
cz my brain is filled with their names and who-didn't-pay-their-fees stuffs like that.

people with no job( no offence) or still studying, they will thought Monday will be a whole fresh week.
like fresh water fish.perhaps just dead.
for me, Monday now will be the circulations.another yelling week, another week that i feel so exhausted.
in chinese we call 恶性循环. zehzehzeh, not good.

I am okay when they talk loudly.Is not like i am gonna lose anything. except my voice.
they going to learn sloooow like grandma snail with tongkat.
and i am happily receiving my pay cheque 2 weeks later.

BLEK.take that, ya'll little monsters!!

Battlefield Diary 1

today is 3rd day of work and i felt like i worked for 3 years.

actually i did a draft on this post on the first day.

i work as 'Guru Ganti'. something like a substitute.when a teacher absent for less than 28 days, that's the time when guru ganti is needed for.

emmm..where should i start?

 folks, say 'hai' to 6J.

1st rule, don't trust those chubby cute faces.they look cute but they act so-not-cute.talkative,talkative and talkative!

this is the most ridiculous class i ever seen.half of it are in PINK.

the school is crowded with HUMANS.or i shall say, little humans. sometimes they can make you laugh, but sometimes they can make your blood pressure rise.

i learnt a lot, and i truly understand being a teacher is not always the 'best job ever'. is tiring and killing. students make you yell, and they can't shut their mouth for one second. they just can't.

see? crowded gila. this is 1st day of school.

can't think of any words to describe my days for now, let's photos do the talking. you all shall understand. and sorry i didn't took my 'job wear looking' photo because i look elder than my age.=(

need starbucks desperately. =/

Hay-Pee-Niu-Yer!

erm.since this is the 1st post of 2010.actually i dont have a real theme to write about.
so i think i just do a simple summary of 2009.

i think i have the most 'not excited' countdown yesterday.
and we didnt even watched those countdown concert.
2010 came in our laughs and some dirty little secrets.

em. my 2009 was not colorful as others but i had a steady year.
didn't manage to get a boyfriend but i have a group of amazing friends.
classmates of SN9H, thanks for the memories.

my year 2009 was kinda 'grey-ish' if compare to 2008.
i failed my grade 8 piano exam.again.
i failed my advanced first aid.
i get a donkey for X subject of AS.which is unexpected.and i retake it last november.hopefully i can get something better than donkey.

i just spilled coffee on my shirt.damn.don't blog with coffee.is not romantic at all.

i think that's all for my year 2009. still not yet listed down any new year resolutions.
ohh.got one, hopefully trip to Redang will come true.

Happy New Year 2010!
 and yesterday when i wish my friends 'Happy New Year' in chinese and they laughed.they said 'Xin Nian Kuai Le' suppose to say during Chinese new Year.LOL. any differences?

'..is mucus.'

I suppose most of us never turn our back to watch cartoon again.
since they called fairytale ain't real.and is so KIDDY+CHILDISH.
well, most of the time, i live in the real world.means no fairytale or watsoever.
but meanwhile, a small part of myself,i always want to believe there is a small world we never knew.just like Pandora or Far Far Away kingdom.

Mum said 'the Princess and the Frog' are made for kids.ma, is rated general.so i definately can watch.watched this movie yesterday, and tricked by the seats plan.Diu.

everytime i watch movie, when deal with 'choosing the seats' issue, i always want to avoid being given row lesser than G(A-F).you will have serious neck problem after that.

yesterday, i was acting so smart and think every cinema of G** are the same.when we buy ticket,that girl show me the row C. and in a blink of eye, i said 'No.Saya mau J la.thankiu.'

'You sure?'she asked.

'Yup.' then i paid.so syok lor that time i think.when can u get seats at row J when is afternoon peak time.

1.45, after lunch at Boston HK restaurant, is time for movie.

walao! when i enter i shocked lor.

the arrangement of seats aint normal like i saw NORMALLY. when we enter,we have to find our seats from M-A.now, i found the seats arranged in A-M. WHICH MEANS~~ WHICH MEANS IF I TOOK THE C ROW I WILL BE WATCHING THE MOVIE WITH THE SEATS 3RD ROW COUNT FROM BEHIND.dude!is behind!

why la i pick J row.luckily still manage to watch the whole screen.*phew.

cant blame me.=D

Ne-Yo's Never Knew I Needed  is not bad.

next in the row-Alvin and The Chipmunks2 :The Squeakquel